I love this video. It makes me feel happy.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wisdomless and wistful
The lack of wisdom hasn't hit me yet but the rumours are true, I got my wisdom teeth removed. I was so unimpressed when I found out that I had to get these teeth removed as I could have sworn that they already came through last year when my face hurt for a week straight because of these troublesome teeth. It was only when my face doubled in size two weeks ago and I couldn't chew anything without being in pain a few weeks ago that I realised something was wrong. That day, I visited a doctor, a dentist and got an x-ray done; they all confirmed that I had an impacted wisdom tooth and they all described me as very unlucky. Just a heads up, never let someone do anything to your mouth when you're not under a general anesthetic. Holy mother of God, I have never been in so much pain. My friend Tegan got her wisdom teeth removed in the dentist's chair and after this experience, I have so much respect for her. Even the needles to numb your mouth hurt! I was in tears and gripping the hand of the assistant the entire time. That day I got the gum around my tooth laser removed and puss extracted. So sexy. I was swollen and in intense pain constantly for the next three days so no wonder I was terrified with the prospect of having to get ALL of my wisdom teeth removed.
When D-day arrived, I had been warned that it would be the "worst pain of my life" and that I would be in bed for a week with a hugely swollen face and black eyes. So pumped. My operation was booked in for 7:30am yet I didn't go through to surgery until about midday as I was the last person out of nine people getting their wisdom teeth taken out that morning. It wasn't too bad though, while I waited I got to lay in bed and watch French films while glancing at the bandaged suckers in the beds around me. Once I was taken through to surgery, they put an ugly hair net on me and stuck a needle into my arm to await my anesthetic. The bizarre thing was, the doctor put the anesthetic in my arm and when I woke up after what seemed like seconds, I was being wheeled into another room and my wisdom teeth were gone! AMAZING! It was like magic. As the drugs hadn't quite worn off, I began berating the nurses for not giving me my teeth to keep and asking them what their favourite cocktails were. Normal. No joke, my face including my tongue was completely numb until midday the next day. Aren't drugs just the best? I looked like a winner with ice packs strapped to my face but so far so good with no swelling or bruising. I had pain killers just in case the pain started coming on but it never came. I was so prepared for the worst but nothing happened! I wasn't swollen, bruised or in pain. By day three, I was back to normal. Everyone lied to me! Yes it was awesome to stay in bed for two days playing the sims and my mum doing everything for me but it was so not that bad! Maybe I'm just awesome and fought past the pain but I honestly don't know why everyone makes such a big deal of it.
Sincerely,
Wisdomless and wistful
When D-day arrived, I had been warned that it would be the "worst pain of my life" and that I would be in bed for a week with a hugely swollen face and black eyes. So pumped. My operation was booked in for 7:30am yet I didn't go through to surgery until about midday as I was the last person out of nine people getting their wisdom teeth taken out that morning. It wasn't too bad though, while I waited I got to lay in bed and watch French films while glancing at the bandaged suckers in the beds around me. Once I was taken through to surgery, they put an ugly hair net on me and stuck a needle into my arm to await my anesthetic. The bizarre thing was, the doctor put the anesthetic in my arm and when I woke up after what seemed like seconds, I was being wheeled into another room and my wisdom teeth were gone! AMAZING! It was like magic. As the drugs hadn't quite worn off, I began berating the nurses for not giving me my teeth to keep and asking them what their favourite cocktails were. Normal. No joke, my face including my tongue was completely numb until midday the next day. Aren't drugs just the best? I looked like a winner with ice packs strapped to my face but so far so good with no swelling or bruising. I had pain killers just in case the pain started coming on but it never came. I was so prepared for the worst but nothing happened! I wasn't swollen, bruised or in pain. By day three, I was back to normal. Everyone lied to me! Yes it was awesome to stay in bed for two days playing the sims and my mum doing everything for me but it was so not that bad! Maybe I'm just awesome and fought past the pain but I honestly don't know why everyone makes such a big deal of it.
Sincerely,
Wisdomless and wistful
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
BBQ Crashers
You've heard of wedding crashers but now get ready for a scary new phenomenon: BBQ crashers. These people come alone or in pairs in search of beer and sausages...maybe a chicken wing as well. Be aware that this could happen to YOU. This incident I'm about to tell you all happened to me just yesterday. If you are afraid of people stealing innocent sausages and using obscene amounts of sauce, please turn away from your screen now.
It was a warm Tuesday afternoon in November and I had been called into University with my fellow students to clear up any re-enrolment issues, watch a few performances and have a barbecue. I wandered into the theatre with my friend James who often uses the phrases "fresh" and "the end". I noticed a middle aged Asian man sitting in the third row whom I didn't recognise at all so naturally I assumed he was an overbearing parent or some strange mature aged student. The only other mature aged student we had went on a gap year after our first year so it was a little exciting to see some fresh meat. I ignored the presence of this new face until the break in between the info session and the showcase when he came over to me. He asked "When is barbecue? What is going on??" to which I replied "oh I think we're just watching the show case then the barbecue is after that".
"No no no. Someone told me subjects then barbecue 6:00. Why no barbecue?" he badgered.
"Ummm I think we have to watch performances first and then there's a barbecue," I said while shrinking into my seat.
"How long showcase?" he asked.
"I think it's one hour," I replied sheepishly.
"ONE HOUR?! BUT I'M HUNGRY NOW!!!" he said as he rubbed his belly. He promptly left after this delightful conversation to go harass more people over this ever so important barbecue. I made sure to sit on the other side of the theatre for the performances so I didn't have to hear about his ravenous state for the next hour.
As soon as the lights came on after the performance, he ran out at the speed of light knocking women and children over as they innocently left the theatre. Papers flying in his wake, wind blowing through the hair of passers by (this may or may not have happened but I don't let the truth get in the way of a good story).
As we exited the building and entered into the courtyard, he was already at the barbecue,
bread in hand waiting impatiently for the culinary geniuses manning the hot plate to serve him up a steaming sausage. As soon as the sausage hit that fluffy white slice, sauce was flying in all directions. Not just tomato, but BBQ sauce as well. Lots of it. This may have been the reason for the tomato sauce running out only minutes later. With the speed of a super hero, he had grabbed a beer and was harassing people to open it for him even though it was a twist-top. He yelled "you're not my friend!" to anyone who would not open it for him. Real mature. Never have I ever seen someone eat a sausage and drink a beer so quickly. If he was in an eating competition, I would have bet my house on this guy. After he literally inhaled his first beer and sausage, he went straight to the front of the line like a true VIP to grab his next sizzling victim. After doing this another four times, he vanished. POOF! GONE! IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE....from the barbecue. I asked around, no one knew who this mysterious Asian man was, even the staff.
I look back on this fateful day as the day I met the original BBQ crasher.
I am severely regretting not getting picture or video evidence of this event.
It was a warm Tuesday afternoon in November and I had been called into University with my fellow students to clear up any re-enrolment issues, watch a few performances and have a barbecue. I wandered into the theatre with my friend James who often uses the phrases "fresh" and "the end". I noticed a middle aged Asian man sitting in the third row whom I didn't recognise at all so naturally I assumed he was an overbearing parent or some strange mature aged student. The only other mature aged student we had went on a gap year after our first year so it was a little exciting to see some fresh meat. I ignored the presence of this new face until the break in between the info session and the showcase when he came over to me. He asked "When is barbecue? What is going on??" to which I replied "oh I think we're just watching the show case then the barbecue is after that".
"No no no. Someone told me subjects then barbecue 6:00. Why no barbecue?" he badgered.
"Ummm I think we have to watch performances first and then there's a barbecue," I said while shrinking into my seat.
"How long showcase?" he asked.
"I think it's one hour," I replied sheepishly.
"ONE HOUR?! BUT I'M HUNGRY NOW!!!" he said as he rubbed his belly. He promptly left after this delightful conversation to go harass more people over this ever so important barbecue. I made sure to sit on the other side of the theatre for the performances so I didn't have to hear about his ravenous state for the next hour.
As soon as the lights came on after the performance, he ran out at the speed of light knocking women and children over as they innocently left the theatre. Papers flying in his wake, wind blowing through the hair of passers by (this may or may not have happened but I don't let the truth get in the way of a good story).
As we exited the building and entered into the courtyard, he was already at the barbecue,
bread in hand waiting impatiently for the culinary geniuses manning the hot plate to serve him up a steaming sausage. As soon as the sausage hit that fluffy white slice, sauce was flying in all directions. Not just tomato, but BBQ sauce as well. Lots of it. This may have been the reason for the tomato sauce running out only minutes later. With the speed of a super hero, he had grabbed a beer and was harassing people to open it for him even though it was a twist-top. He yelled "you're not my friend!" to anyone who would not open it for him. Real mature. Never have I ever seen someone eat a sausage and drink a beer so quickly. If he was in an eating competition, I would have bet my house on this guy. After he literally inhaled his first beer and sausage, he went straight to the front of the line like a true VIP to grab his next sizzling victim. After doing this another four times, he vanished. POOF! GONE! IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE....from the barbecue. I asked around, no one knew who this mysterious Asian man was, even the staff.
I look back on this fateful day as the day I met the original BBQ crasher.
I am severely regretting not getting picture or video evidence of this event.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Things I miss from my childhood
I'm having one of those days where I just want to go back to being a kid. Here are some of the things I miss doing:
- Playing 40-40. I swear it was actually the best game and you could play it with kids you just met so that you could instantly become friends. If only people still wanted to play it now....
- Genuinly enjoying Macgyver and trying out all of his stunts in the backyard
- Building cubby houses with every sheet in the house and leaving the mess for mum to clean up
- Having the ability to blow two minute noodles out of my nose. People would be so impressed now if I could pull that out at the dinner table
- Doing cooking shows with mud, bugs and grass as ingredients
- Recording my own Christmas albums on my casette recorder
- Playing with my Barbies and living my life through them
- Hanging out at the play ground for hours and never getting bored
- Hunting for crabs under rocks at the beach
- Creating snow fields out of balls of newspaper and rolling in it
- Digging massive holes at the beach just so I can sit in them
- Making organisers and date books out of cardboard complete with qwerty keyboards
- Going to Mcdonalds for someone's birthday party because it was a cool venue
- Playing dressups
Thursday, October 27, 2011
What the queen taught me
When you think about some of the most influential people in the world right now, who springs to mind? Oprah? Obama? Justin Bieber? How about the Queen? As an Australian, everytime I go to buy something with a coin, I see her face. Since her most recent visit, I've got to thinking about a question I was asked by a German reporter: "As a female, how do you think the Queen represents female rights?" My first thought was that she isn't equal to any man, she is above them all. I mean, she's THE QUEEN. Duh. But then it reminded me of how truly lucky I am to be living in a country like Australia. Australian women are so blessed to have the freedom to marry who we want, have a job that earns a justified income and wear whatever our heart desires. Many countries aren't so lucky. I recently wrote an essay on wedding rituals and arranged marriages in Pakistan so I thought I'd share a short snippet of it with you. I was so heartbroken when researching for this essay.
In Middle Eastern countries such as Pakistan, arranged marriages are common place and are a traditional rite of passage that all women must go through in order to keep her family’s honour. However, if this tradition is broken then the family’s honour is destroyed and certain things must be done to reclaim this honour.
If a woman is to run away from her marriage, she is usually hunted down by her family and forced to return. It is very common for women to be murdered by a brother or her father in order to restore the honour within a family. Police generally ignore this type of violence. If a woman asks the courts for help and succeeds, she is usually put into what is called an “asylum” or “institution” but in reality it resembles a prison like structure where their family wait ominously at the gates salivating at the thought of restitution. There is literally no escape for a woman once she is married. Many women are practically slaves to their suitors, constantly suffering rape and being subject to physical, verbal and mental abuse. Their spirit is slowly crushed until a shell of a woman remains. Countless women commit suicide as they would prefer to die than stay in their loveless, abusive marriages. The most common way for these women to kill themselves is to set themselves on fire to show their husbands the pain they would rather endure than spend the rest of their lives with them.
In Western culture, forced marriage is considered to be a violation of human rights with the Roman Catholic Church allowing annulments for marriages if both parties do not agree to the relationship. In what we would call a civilised Western society, it is hard to understand how a country could believe in forcing people into a loveless marriage. Not only is this happening in countries in the Middle East but the illegal trade of women for marriage is still happening in places like USA and the UK. Many families from Pakistan living in these countries still believe in the arranged marriage of their daughters and hence send them back to Pakistan to marry a man they have never met. If this is not possible, they host illegal weddings neglecting the traditional celebrations of their country just so their family can live in honour and not embarrassment by having an unmarried daughter.
We must learn to appreciate what we are given in our wonderful country as many women live under oppression and in poverty. I am so grateful for my wonderful family, having a beautiful home and being able to have freedom of speech and choice. We may not all be born into royalty but we can learn from the Queen that it is always important to be graceful and appreciative of the gifts that are bestowed upon us. Live in kindness, thankfulness and love.
In Middle Eastern countries such as Pakistan, arranged marriages are common place and are a traditional rite of passage that all women must go through in order to keep her family’s honour. However, if this tradition is broken then the family’s honour is destroyed and certain things must be done to reclaim this honour.
If a woman is to run away from her marriage, she is usually hunted down by her family and forced to return. It is very common for women to be murdered by a brother or her father in order to restore the honour within a family. Police generally ignore this type of violence. If a woman asks the courts for help and succeeds, she is usually put into what is called an “asylum” or “institution” but in reality it resembles a prison like structure where their family wait ominously at the gates salivating at the thought of restitution. There is literally no escape for a woman once she is married. Many women are practically slaves to their suitors, constantly suffering rape and being subject to physical, verbal and mental abuse. Their spirit is slowly crushed until a shell of a woman remains. Countless women commit suicide as they would prefer to die than stay in their loveless, abusive marriages. The most common way for these women to kill themselves is to set themselves on fire to show their husbands the pain they would rather endure than spend the rest of their lives with them.
In Western culture, forced marriage is considered to be a violation of human rights with the Roman Catholic Church allowing annulments for marriages if both parties do not agree to the relationship. In what we would call a civilised Western society, it is hard to understand how a country could believe in forcing people into a loveless marriage. Not only is this happening in countries in the Middle East but the illegal trade of women for marriage is still happening in places like USA and the UK. Many families from Pakistan living in these countries still believe in the arranged marriage of their daughters and hence send them back to Pakistan to marry a man they have never met. If this is not possible, they host illegal weddings neglecting the traditional celebrations of their country just so their family can live in honour and not embarrassment by having an unmarried daughter.
We must learn to appreciate what we are given in our wonderful country as many women live under oppression and in poverty. I am so grateful for my wonderful family, having a beautiful home and being able to have freedom of speech and choice. We may not all be born into royalty but we can learn from the Queen that it is always important to be graceful and appreciative of the gifts that are bestowed upon us. Live in kindness, thankfulness and love.
The Queen!
I am proud to say that I breathed the same air as Her Majesty the Queen. Sure I couldn't get close enough to see her in the flesh and only saw her on the big screen at Federation Square but I think that still counts! She looked so elegant is what was described as "shocking pink" and seemed ever gracious as she collected countless bouquets of flowers from adoring fans. If you're worried about what happens to all the flowers she was given, they were apparently all distributed to Melbourne hospitals. I attended the appearance of the Queen as a cheerleader for Nova100. We had an absolute ball but it was near impossible to get a peep out of the crowd. Everyone was so quiet and respectful. I feel bad in hindsight for calling the crowd pathetic after they were only reserving themselves for the arrival of their beloved queen. Some of the funniest moments from that day were the Asian tourists pushing each other out of the way for photos with us, the creepy guys saying that they'd rather see us than the queen and the adorable little girls dressed up as princesses and practicing their curtsies.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Caulfield Cup and Caulfield Guineas
Sometimes I feel a bit special when I get jobs like this one when I got to host at the Pegasus Marquee at The Caulfield Cup as well as Caulfield Guineas day! I was dressed from head to toe in Allanah Hill & Mimco with my grooming being done in the same room as the beautiful Giaan Rooney. The marquee played host to some wonderful and rather interesting celebrities such as Jesinta Campbell, Pauline Hanson. Warwick Capper and the guys from Farmer Wants a Wife (hugely awkward when I had a conversation with them about what they did for a living as I had no idea who they were...). My tips from the races are:
- Wear bold, bright colours
- If you're in a marquee, do not take advantage of the free alcohol too much
- NEVER take off your heels no matter how much pain you're in
- Please keep your boobs in your dress
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About Me
- Emily Mac
- I'm a 20 year old performing arts student who likes her tims tams with milk and gets head aches when drinking water with a mint in her mouth