I’m a ranga. A red head, a ginger, carrot top, ginga ninja, fire crotch, pumpkin pubes...ok too far blue car. But yes, as of a week ago, I have joined the small minority of the population that has red hair. For a colouring competition, my good friend Shakira from Zucci hair salon dyed my hair red and cut me a fringe. Before this, I had virgin hair and my baby Jesus liked it. As you can imagine, I was absolutely pooing myself leading up to dying it, envisioning myself looking like orphan Annie. Once it was done though, I didn’t hate it, I kind of liked it. Could this be possible? I have been asked before if my hair was naturally red and if I had dyed it brown because I have freckles. Also, my brother has a ranga face. “What does that mean?” I hear you ask? It means people when they first meet him don’t notice that he has blonde hair but remember him and a ranga due to his slightly red and freckly face.
I’ve decided red heads are practically a race of their own. Everyone is super racist towards red heads! I got my first taunt when walking to the bus stop on the way to uni. Now, on previous days, a car full of builders always drives past at the same time and they all yell out something obscene. But this Monday was different. As I innocently walked down the street, probably listening to Taylor Swift, I looked up when I heard the word “RANGA!!!!” being screamed. It was the car full of builders shouting abuse at me! Only 3 days before they were singing a different tune but there it was, ranga racism. Whatever, if it means I could play Ginny in a Harry Potter film and marry Harry then it is worth it.
I told my beautiful ginger friend Jess about this incident and she said “do you see what I have to deal with??”. It’s tough having red hair! For some reason I have the idea in my head that there’s a high number of suicides from people with red hair and I can see why. Only 1-2% of the population has red hair, isn’t that insane?? I just found this on Wikipedia: “Cultural reactions have varied from ridicule to admiration; many common stereotypes exist regarding redheads and they are often portrayed as fiery-tempered.” Fiery tempered ey? I have already been described as that by someone who claims it’s just because I have red hair now. As I am Scottish, maybe I should have red hair as Scotland has the highest population of carrot tops. My mum continued the discrimination last night as she turned to me in the car saying “What are you going to do about your hair? I don’t love it.” Thanks mims.
I swear to God, as I write this blog, a creepy ginger baby is giving me the evil eye at work. I just took a sneaky photo of it. Win.
As a ginga ninja, I come in peace
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