On my last trip overseas, I headed back to the US after five days in London. I made videos of both of them yet I'm way too drunk in the London one so I feel as though I should censor you all and not upload it. My trip to America was incredible, visiting Chicago and Rhode Island. Chicago was enormous and spectacular. I literally had to work out for an hour everyday to keep from becoming the size of a house. The food was amazing including sumptuous hot dogs, delicious giant pretzels and greasy deep dish pizzas. I love my food so I didn't say no to anything that was put in front of me. Buffallo wings were a new delicacy for me so I chowed down on those in between large servings of bagels & cream cheese and enchilladas. Everything was either dipped in cheese, covered in BBQ sauce or deep fried. Can anyone say AMAZING? Sure it's not cultured cuisine but it sure was delicious. I ate the best nachos in the world from a baseball helmet at a White Sox game and slurped down Miller Lite in Wrigleyville.
Rhode Island on the other hand was small and beautiful. I stayed in Newport, which is a small seaside town filled with enormous mansions, giant yachts, beautiful beaches and adorable seaside restaurants. It will forever go down as one of the prettiest places I've ever visited. I sampled clam chowder, lobster mac & cheese and as much homemade lemonade as I could drink. I stayed in a beautiful mansion owned by the Keefe family that was home to their seven children and four standard poodles- one of which took a particular liking to me, yikes.
One thing I do have to say about America is that I was surprised how amazingly friendly, helpful and welcoming everyone was. The people in America really are the most lovely people I have ever met. They're so full of life all the time and will always surprise you.
Last Saturday night, I was luckily enough to be involved in the P&G Wella Professional Salon Conference at the beautiful Hotel Windsor in Melbourne CBD. Each of the models represented an influential and powerful woman from the decades from the 1920's up until now. These women included Coco Chanel, Madonna, Betty Davis and many more beautiful and inspiring women. The MC for the night was the stunning and talented Justine McInerney. I was styled as Katharine Hepburn. Do you see the resemblance?
Today I decided to have a little rant. I feel as though all the middle children out there can relate. Whoever says "middle child syndrome" doesn't exist is a dirty dirty liar. I am a middle child and it sucks. I don't quite understand how it got to this stage. I'm writing this because I'm all huffy about an incident that happened today. I walked the thousand steps today, because I'm a fucking champion, and I was therefore late to work as was previously discussed with my mum. As it is, I work for my mum in a gift shop so yes she can't fire me and I'm usually on facebook or playing the Sims all day but whatever. When I got home, I was as sweaty as a 13 year old at a Justin Bieber concert hence immediate action was required. I got to work at 12:10, which, unbeknownst to me was late. Why was I late? My mum had a lunch date with my older sister to which I was not invited. As I was writing this, my mum just called. The conversation went like this:
Mum: "Have you had anyone in? What are you doing?"
Me: "Nop, I'm bored. I'm doing important business related tasks."- meaning I was watching inbetweeners clips on youtube
Mum: "I sold an overnight bag."
Me: "Oh congratulations, I'll make you a medal."
Mum: "It's better than you ever do. Stephanie sold FOUR paintings last week."
Rude mum. Just rude.
Our family is really eventful, I'm actually surprised no one has jumped on the idea of making "Keeping up with the Macfarlane's". My sister is Kim, my brother is Kourtney and I'm Khloe. On a particular episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, Khloe tried to make Kris have a maternity test to prove that Khloe is in fact her daughter as she says that she is treated differently to the others. I'm tempted, I mean I look nothing like my mum. I got jibbed. Mum got big boobs, let's just say I didn't quite inherit those and mum let's me know it. Also something funky, dad gives my sister a kiss everytime she gets home from work, talks baby to her and they have "cuddles". Eew. I'm happy with a fist pump. The affection I get from dad is when he discusses how he has noticed that I have acquired cellulite. At the dinner table. In front of company. Love you too dad!
I feel like this favouritism started years ago, even as a child. I may sound like I have a chip on my shoulder or that I'm overreacting....and maybe I am but I still feel as though I'm missing out. I swear to God everytime I go out or I'm not home, my family goes out for dinner. Another problem is that my clothes keep mysteriously disappearing from my room....and ending up in the storage closet? I recently found out that if my mum doesn't like me clothes, she hides them so I can't wear them. Sneaky.
Ok, there's my little bitch. It's sickening even to me how much of a spoilt brat I am.
