Now, my lovely best friend Chanelle, as pictured below (very attractive girl), is super sweet and innocent. She flinches at the word penis, cringes at the sight of an FHM cover and would NEVER go to a strip club....until now. I like to think of myself as someone who can persuade people into doing something they don’t want to do so making her go to a strip club was relatively easy.
The first time I suggested it, she firmly said no. I had obviously told her of my first experience of a strip club way back when I was a tipsy underage rebel using my sister’s I.D. I didn’t even have to use that fake I.D, claiming I couldn’t fit it in my dress while trying my best to get into “Dallas Showgirls”. To my delight, they let me right in. Long story short, I made good friends with the strippers, had a group hug with them and tipped my first dancer, resulting in her expressing her gratitude by rubbing my face between her sweaty breasts. I’m a lucky girl.
After a little persuading, Chanelle was convinced that going to a strip club was a good idea. “Goldfinger’s” was selected as our exotic venue for the night, which proved to be a terrific choice. It was unlike any strip club I’d ever seen before, with dozens of strippers walking around and working for tips. As a girl, it was my natural instinct to check out every girl in the place (I assume girls do that in order to scout of the competition). The strippers (or shall we call them exotic dancers??) at this testosterone fuelled environment came in all shapes and sizes apparently to suit every type of man. You’ve got your fatties, your hotties, your fake titties, your oldies and your possible dudes. It’s every flavour you want from a buffet of ladies.
As an experienced campaigner, I’m going to provide a list of hints when going to a strip club for the young players.
• Tipping strippers can vary. Some strip clubs have a main stage where the chickadees will strip down to their birthday suits. At these lovely establishments, you can get a seat right up against the stage and tip the strippers with cash (if you’re lucky, you can put this tip down a pair of underwear or inside a bra). Some places you need to buy tipping money at the bar but those places you will usually find in Kings Cross. Other places (such as “goldfingers”) you approach the stripper directly to ask for a private strip dance that goes for around $20 for five minutes.
• Don’t touch the dancers unless you see others do it and it seems ok. No one likes a dirty pervert.
• Be nice to them and they’ll be nice back.
• Don’t ask for their phone numbers or ask them on a date. You just sound seedy and they probably get it all the time. Just keep it classy.
Just so y’all know, I’m the best friend ever so it was only right that I bought my friend Chanelle her very first lap dance from a lovely girl called “Lexie”. Clearly her alias but she was a nice lady! I picked out her through a careful selection process after scanning all the girls. She had the best body with the nicest bra so I went in for the kill and got her into the other room, alone with Chanelle and I. “So what would you like me to do?” she asked in her adorable Brittish accent. “I don’t know, some cool shit with the pole?” I replied sounding uber experienced. The show went down pretty casually with the highlights being when Chanelle asked where she got her bra from (playboy, if you were interested), when I found out that her terrific mammories were in fact real and when she grinded on Chanelle while Chanelle squeeled and put her hands over her face.
When all is said and done, remember this:
“You know that little girl up there dry humping the stage and grinding that f*&#ing pole, that’s somebody’s daughter! “
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