What the queen taught me

When you think about some of the most influential people in the world right now, who springs to mind? Oprah? Obama? Justin Bieber? How about the Queen? As an Australian, everytime I go to buy something with a coin, I see her face. Since her most recent visit, I've got to thinking about a question I was asked by a German reporter: "As a female, how do you think the Queen represents female rights?" My first thought was that she isn't equal to any man, she is above them all. I mean, she's THE QUEEN. Duh. But then it reminded me of how truly lucky I am to be living in a country like Australia. Australian women are so blessed to have the freedom to marry who we want, have a job that earns a justified income and wear whatever our heart desires. Many countries aren't so lucky. I recently wrote an essay on wedding rituals and arranged marriages in Pakistan so I thought I'd share a short snippet of it with you. I was so heartbroken when researching for this essay.


In Middle Eastern countries such as Pakistan, arranged marriages are common place and are a traditional rite of passage that all women must go through in order to keep her family’s honour. However, if this tradition is broken then the family’s honour is destroyed and certain things must be done to reclaim this honour.
If a woman is to run away from her marriage, she is usually hunted down by her family and forced to return. It is very common for women to be murdered by a brother or her father in order to restore the honour within a family. Police generally ignore this type of violence. If a woman asks the courts for help and succeeds, she is usually put into what is called an “asylum” or “institution” but in reality it resembles a prison like structure where their family wait ominously at the gates salivating at the thought of restitution. There is literally no escape for a woman once she is married. Many women are practically slaves to their suitors, constantly suffering rape and being subject to physical, verbal and mental abuse. Their spirit is slowly crushed until a shell of a woman remains. Countless women commit suicide as they would prefer to die than stay in their loveless, abusive marriages. The most common way for these women to kill themselves is to set themselves on fire to show their husbands the pain they would rather endure than spend the rest of their lives with them.
In Western culture, forced marriage is considered to be a violation of human rights with the Roman Catholic Church allowing annulments for marriages if both parties do not agree to the relationship. In what we would call a civilised Western society, it is hard to understand how a country could believe in forcing people into a loveless marriage. Not only is this happening in countries in the Middle East but the illegal trade of women for marriage is still happening in places like USA and the UK. Many families from Pakistan living in these countries still believe in the arranged marriage of their daughters and hence send them back to Pakistan to marry a man they have never met. If this is not possible, they host illegal weddings neglecting the traditional celebrations of their country just so their family can live in honour and not embarrassment by having an unmarried daughter.
We must learn to appreciate what we are given in our wonderful country as many women live under oppression and in poverty. I am so grateful for my wonderful family, having a beautiful home and being able to have freedom of speech and choice. We may not all be born into royalty but we can learn from the Queen that it is always important to be graceful and appreciative of the gifts that are bestowed upon us. Live in kindness, thankfulness and love.