Steak anyone?

Picture this: walking into a room looking as nice as you can to meet a potential employer. In this room, you become surrounded by 30 stick thin drop dead gorgeous girls all competing for the same job. You eventually get called to your potential employer, hand them a picture of yourself while they inspect a book with pictures of you while you walk in a straight line down the middle of the room, pose at the end and walk back while being stared at by a bunch of the most stunning people you’ve ever seen along with your prospective money source. After you’ve been scanned for beauty, you are then sent on your way with a “thanks for coming”. Sound horrific? It freaking is! Why would I subject myself to such intense scrutiny? I’m still searching for the answer to that one.


What I just described was what is known in the fashion world as a “casting”. I like to call it the meat markets. It just doesn’t seem natural to go for a job based on your appearance but hey, that’s modelling. Literally the talents required for this business are genetic blessings (or the ability to apply makeup super well) and the capability to walk in a straight line with good posture. No joke, the walking is so much harder than it looks and I’ve seen some girls stuff that up hardcore, myself included. I’ve been told at castings that I walk in a diagonal line and that I pose to the wrong side. Riiiiight. Most people snigger at the seemingly “idiotic” models who stack it on cat walks all around world but before you do, imagine what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot, literally. Those shoes are effing high! The shoes you are expected to wear at times look like they belong in a museum, they are so beautiful and obscure. I experienced one of these horrific accidents firsthand....when I had my first fall.

I was at a Jason Grech parade. For those who don’t know this designer, he creates magnificent couture gowns costing thousands of dollars each. This particular parade I participated in had a long stair case in the middle of a circular runway, which the models would use to enter and exit from. All was going according to plan until I tried on my longest dress of the set and had to walk back up the stairs. I didn’t lift the dress high enough when I took a step up the stairs and I stood on the front of it, causing me to fall forward onto my face. Not only did it hurt sooo bad but it was in front of about 60 people. Nice. All I could do was pick myself up, dust myself off, turn around to the crowd with my thumbs up and force out an “I’m ok” while gritting my teeth so I didn’t cry from the pain. This was not quite as bad as other falls models have made.

If you have a look on youtube there are countless videos of models losing their footing on catwalks. My personal favourite was from America’s Next Top Model when there were giant pendulums swinging across the runway and one of the girls got hit by it and was tossed off the catwalk. I shouldn’t laugh because she got injured but it is freaking hilarious.

I’m just saying, next time you go and make a comment about how stupid models are because they fall over all the time, just take amount to think about the size of their shoes. So shut up, I wear heels bigger than your dick.